A few days ago I began what has become quite an elaborate post about our upcoming nuptials. In trying to one-up myself in cleverness, I now find myself overwhelmed as 400 well-crafted words stagnate in an unnamed document on my task bar (I refuse to name it until I finish which means that I have not, against Sergio's best advice, turned off my computer since I started this literary quagmire).
Rather than sacrificing right now the hours it is going to take to finish it as it deserves to be finished, I have given myself a pass and am leapfrogging that post to memorialize this particular day before Sergio and I officially get married here in Spain.
The big wedding is, of course, the one we have been planning and preparing for practically since the engagement. It will be in the Texas Hill Country at a vineyard. My dress has been delivered, our ceremony written, 80% of RSVPs received (you know who you are!), all of the music hand-picked, bachelor/ette parties finalized, and, most importantly, the caterer, florist, DJ, hotel and venue will all have received all be their final payments within the next week.
But for logistical reasons stemming from the incredible Spanish bureaucracy (see Sergio's previous post about another epic struggle with Hermano Mayor) and our desire to legalize my status, we are getting married first here in Spain. In August after Sergio proposed, we began inquiring as to what is required for me to get residency status (similar to the U.S., if you are married to a Spanish national, which Sergio is, you are entitled to permanency residency and an expedited path to citizenship). We spoke with American friends who had gone through the process, consulted with an immigration attorney, compared the advantages of marriage to civil union and, after much legwork, presented ourselves to the marriage license office for our first appointment, of what would be many. That was in September, and although it may seem like a long time, we, against all odds, are going to be married in just 5 months from when we began. We weren't sure when exactly it was going to happen, and are paying an extra $350 in order to expedite our nuptials (we will be driving to a nearby town and getting married by the mayor).
It's a funny thing, though. On the one hand, this wedding is purely practical. If we were not living in Spain, or did not have plans to be here for a while, we would not have gone to the (great) trouble of getting married here first. Further, there will be a legally-binding ceremony in a few weeks in front of the people most important to us. We will be celebrating accordingly. The significance in the States of a Spanish wedding , or anywhere else for that matter, is, practically speaking, negligble. But on the other hand, it is not totally without meaning.
Sergio and I were talking about it the other day as we were walking home from the grocery store. He asked me if I was going to feel any different after we were married. There are certain things that are going to be different, but the impact of those differences is, I think, pretty minimal. For example, Sergio files away all of his emails into labeled folders so as to keep his inbox empty (compared to my organizational strategy which is to keep all emails in my inbox so that I know where to look should I need them again). He has a folder titled “family” and another for “friends”. Up until now, all emails from me have been relegated to the “friends” folder. I admit I am looking forward to being promoted to “family”.
Another change is that I am going to take his last name. This is not to say that I haven't been identifying myself as “Annie Garcia” when convenient (“Kersch” really stumps the Spanish lingua), but now I can do it without feeling like a fraud. Sergio will also begin wearing his wedding band, at least in Spain (since it would require explanation were he to wear it at his bachelor party in the States).
The truth is, I am not sure if and how I am going to feel differently. But this evening, when we opened a bottle of wine in celebration of our pending nuptials, Sergio toasted “to the love of my life”, which, for me, just reiterated the rightness of this next step, in Spain and beyond.
No comments:
Post a Comment